Withdrawal
Trauma of neglect, couples and intimacy
11/06/12
"Where the adult children of neglect have found a way to manage virtually all their other human needs on their own, sex presents a problem. It is not as if one cannot take care of one’s sexual needs oneself, but sex alone is a very different thing. What I have observed among my neglect survivor clients, is that somehow, this need prevails as one that they feel entitled to have met by another person.
Mira Rothenberg describes a void of loneliness in children of neglect in her book Children with Emerald Eyes:
Sometimes there is sex to fill this void. And the sex is then strange. There is little giving, but there is taking, there is devouring of you and whatever you can give to fill this void. The exquisite giving and taking is no longer. The balance is disappointed. Because it is to take, to calm, to quiet this awful howl of loneliness and the hunger that derives from loneliness. To feed, so that for once, for this one short while, the need, the plea, the want is filled." Read More...
Mira Rothenberg describes a void of loneliness in children of neglect in her book Children with Emerald Eyes:
Sometimes there is sex to fill this void. And the sex is then strange. There is little giving, but there is taking, there is devouring of you and whatever you can give to fill this void. The exquisite giving and taking is no longer. The balance is disappointed. Because it is to take, to calm, to quiet this awful howl of loneliness and the hunger that derives from loneliness. To feed, so that for once, for this one short while, the need, the plea, the want is filled." Read More...
Bottling up frustration, anger and self-silencing
24/08/11
"Anger is fuel. Anger can be healing and healthy. Anger can be a monster. When we feel it, we want to take action. We want to hit someone, break something, throw a fit, smash a fist into the wall, swear and use obscenities. Anger isn’t nice. We’re conditioned to stuff it, deny it, bury it, block it, hide it, lie about it, medicate it, muffle it, ignore it... everything but to experience it." from 'The Artists Way'. Read More...